Sarah’s wedding plans took an unexpected turn, and my husband Jim and I had to deal with her alarming entitlement complex. What started off as anticipation for her special day swiftly turned into a lesson in respect and gratitude that neither of us could have predicted.
Please allow me to vent. We were thrilled for my granddaughter Sarah, who is soon to get married. Jim, my spouse, and I were ecstatic when she informed us of the news. We immediately began discussing the wedding and brainstorming ways we might contribute to making it unique. But a few days ago, everything was different.
Sarah wrote us a letter that very about broke both of our hearts. I can still clearly recall opening it. There was a $5,000 check and a note that felt like a verbal abuse. The note said, “This year for my birthday, I want to go on a vacation with my fiancé.” “Cash for it. I’m hoping you have enough saved up after giving me cheap, junk gifts for years.
I’ll give you some history now. Jim and I have consistently made an effort to support Sarah. Despite our lack of wealth, we have donated all we could. We have given her ancestral jewelry, created her handcrafted quilts over the years, and even assisted with a down payment on her first automobile. We also paid for a portion of her education costs. We’ve always assumed that she valued these things.
The letter and check lay between Jim and me like a bad omen as we sat down to eat at the kitchen table. Anger and hurt made my hands shake. “Is this really true?” Holding out the letter, I posed the question. My eyes pricked with tears. “After all of our assistance to her?”
Jim’s face was a mask of disappointment. “This is just plain wrong,” he said, his voice heavy with sadness. “We’ve given her so much, and this is how she repays us?”
We decided that we couldn’t let this go unnoticed. Sarah needed to understand the value of gratitude and respect. We wrote her a letter in return.
We expressed our hurt and disappointment, explaining how her words had affected us. We reminded her of all the things we had done for her out of love, not obligation.
We also made it clear that while we loved her dearly, we would not be sending her the $5,000. Instead, we hoped she would reflect on her behavior and understand the importance of appreciation.
